


I Miss You (I Love You)

by naasad



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Amnesia, Angst, Getting Together, Happy Ending, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, jbm - Freeform, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-26 17:48:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15668199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naasad/pseuds/naasad
Summary: Feuilly doesn't know why he expected Jehan to end up with him again, no one else stayed in the same relationship as 1832.





	I Miss You (I Love You)

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't squeeze it into the fic, but in my head, JBM are always kind of like the poly mentors whenever I decide to write about the others getting into a non-monogamous relationship. They're the ones most likely to listen to problems, call people out on their bullshit, and gift copies of More Than Two, imo.

He'll be fine. He will.

He just needs to get to the apartment.

He just needs to pack his things.

It'll be like he wasn't even there.

He stumbles and cuts up his knees on the pavement. Why does it hurt more than getting shot?

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

He'd known it was coming the entire time.

No one had the same relationships they'd had in their past life - no one. Joly was with Bossuet and Musichetta, rather than just one. Enjolras was with Grantaire instead of Courfeyrac, who had built a life with Combeferre. And Jehan - Jehan was with Bahorel now.

Feuilly wrapped an arm around his stomach and clamped a hand over his mouth, trying to stifle his sobs.

He loved them - before and now. The difference being now... they don't love him back.

He tries to stand. The two will want their tiny, cramped apartment to themselves now that they are in a relationship. Even if they don't, there's no way he could stand watching his... his friends together now.

He'll find a place.

Joly, Boss, and Chetta would let him crash on their couch in the meantime. They were good like that.

His phone buzzes in his pocket.

It's fine.

He just needs to get to the apartment.

 

* * *

 

 

Jehan worries. No one's seen or heard from Fee in days, and it's not like him to just pack up and leave.

Except that's exactly what he'd done.

They should be happy now, they should be leaping for joy. They have Bahorel now, except they still feel like there's a giant gaping hole in their chest. A Fee-sized hole.

Baz slides next to them, plucks their ring-covered fingers off the rim of their teacup, and presses a kiss to their knuckles. "He'll be okay. We'll find him."

Jehan leans closer, lays their head on his shoulder. "I miss him."

"I know," Baz says. "Me, too."

He doesn't, they think. Not like this, this feeling that you've been torn in two and will never be whole again. The last time they'd felt like this, they'd had a blindfold tied around their face, their own last words echoing around them, a burning pain between their eyes, and then... nothing. Their very next memory is meeting Baz at Kindergarten on the first day of school. They'd been so small then, and he'd already been so big - so big, yet so kind-hearted.

"Hey." Bahorel presses a kiss to their temple. "I've got you."

Jehan sucks in a deep breath. "I know."

The knock on the door at this early of an hour is startling, and Jehan is on their feet before they even properly register it, flinging the door wide open.

Only it's not Fee, it's Bossuet.

"He's with us," he says, bowing his bald head and kicking the welcome mat. "He says he wants to give you guys space for your newlywed phase, but none of us believe him."

Jehan looks up as Baz' arm falls around their shoulders and frowns. "Something's wrong."

Boss raises an eyebrow, as if to say 'no shit'.

"No," Jehan says. "Something's really wrong. How much do you remember about Fee from our old lives?"

The two others look like they've been smacked in the face.

"Less than I did yesterday," Baz says, always cutting straight to the heart of the matter. It's one of the reasons Jehan loves him.

Jehan loves.... They gasp and quickly shove one of the pennies they keep under their mat just for Bossuet into his hand. "Excuse us."

Boss frowns but closes the door behind him, with only one last comment. "I'll talk to the others, find out if they're having the same memory issues."

Jehan rubs a hand down their face and sits on the couch, thinking hard.

"What's on your mind?" Baz asks.

"Have you ever wondered if you could have a relationship like Joly, Boss, and Chetta?"

Baz laughs. "I aim to be that good at communication."

Jehan shakes their head. "I mean with three people."

Baz stops laughing. "With Feuilly?" he asks, then lapses into silence.

 

* * *

 

 

Feuilly is hiding and he knows it and he is quite comfortable with that, thank you very much, Musichetta. He's fine. He is.

He's going back and forth from work and the trio's couch, and he's fine. He needs the extra hours he's working if he's ever going to get his own place.

"You already have a place," Musichetta tells him whenever he mentions that, and he doesn't have the heart to tell her that he really, really doesn't.

He's happy for them. Anything for Jehan. But he can't be around the two of them, it hurts too much.

Almost as much as when Boss sits him down and says "None of us remember you from 1832. We know you were there, Courfeyrac remembers you holding a sword and yelling about Poland. That's it."

He breaks down in tears immediately, relieved because that means there's a reason for all this, devastated because that means Jehan doesn't remember him. In their eyes, he's just being a terrible friend, and they must hate him. They must want nothing to do with him, and he tries to convince himself that's good, that's good, but if it's good, why does it hurt worse than dying?

Joly walks in the door just in time to coax him out of his panic attack.

He's a fucking mess.

Then comes the fateful day.

It's one of his few days off and he tries to rope Boss into a video game tournament so he doesn't have to think, but it turns out everyone has plans, by which they mean Enjolras has plans and it'll be hell to pay if they don't turn up, and Feuilly wasn't even invited, which triggers another panic attack because of course they don't want to be his friends anymore, they don't even remember him.

Musichetta helps him calm down, apologizing and running out the door the moment he can breathe on his own.

Five minutes later, someone knocks, obviously Bossuet, because he left his dinosaur key in his dinosaur dish again.

Feuilly opens the door, and it's not Boss at all. Jehan stands there with their best brownies and Bahorel is slightly behind them with a bottle of some kind of alcohol and the book Fee lent him indefinitely six months ago.

"We didn't get to say good-bye," Jehan says, and that's just cruel.

Feuilly steps aside and waves them in.

Things go well for the first twenty minutes, then Jehan gets up to use the restroom and Baz won't stop staring at his lips, and then he kisses him. So he pushes him back, punches him so hard he drops to his knees, and then gets right in his face. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" he shouts, spit flying, oh, god, he's never been this enraged in either life. "Why? Why on god's earth would you do that to Jehan?"

"Do what?"

Feuilly turns around to see Jehan. "He kissed me," he growls.

"Sorry," Baz says. "I got impatient."

Jehan laughs. "Oh, that," they say, and then they're crowding Fee against the wall, pressing soft lips to his own, and absolutely plundering his mouth.

He whines and buries his hands in their hair, drawing away and teasing with tongue and teeth the way they loved two hundred years ago.

Jehan sighs and goes practically boneless for a moment, then draws away in shock. "We loved eachother."

It's not a question.

"I still love you," Feuilly whispers, pulling away completely, suddenly conscious of Baz nearby.

Bahorel puts a hand on the back of his neck and presses his own kiss down to his lips. "They still love you, too. I'm not quite there yet, but I could be."

"You...." Fee looks between them, shocked. "You both want me?"

Jehan smiles and nods.

"How long?"

"As long as you want," Jehan says.

"Forever," Baz rumbles.

Feuilly glances at them both, then reaches out to grasp their hands. "Forever sounds good."

"It'll take a lot of work," Jehan warns.

Fee smirks. "I'm used to that."

Baz wraps an arm around his shoulders. "Step one: Move back in with us?"


End file.
